In approximately 48 hours I will be boarding a plane with my friends en route to San Diego! Exciting right? RIGHT! What some people have found strange is that Andrew, my fiance, will not be one of those friends on that plane or on that trip. “You’re going on vacation without your fiance?” I’ve been asked by several people, usually with a slightly judgmental look on their face. “Yep.” I respond while I enjoy the awkwardness as they wait for some sort of explanation… he has to work (which he does) we couldn’t afford it if we both went (we couldn’t)…but they’re not getting an explanation because I don’t believe one is warranted.
I suppose Andrew and I have become a “we”. We do most things together. We pay our bills. We begin most sentences with we. But while Andrew and I exist as a “we”. I think we both have a definite “me”. Which is important.
In our world an engagement or even a marriage does not mean one does not do anything without the other. Instead, it just requires that one does not do anything without thinking of the other. There are many times you will find me out with my friends without Andrew on my arm; either because he had to work or because he didn’t feel up to a night out. And there are plenty of times you will find Andrew playing softball with friends and having beers without me because that is his thing, his “me time”.
When it came time to decide on the trip I took Andrew into consideration. Will Andrew be bummed he isn’t going with? You bet. Will he miss me? Definitely. I’ll miss him too! It goes without saying that I discussed the trip with Andrew before it was planned, but I didn’t ask for his permission. He didn’t expect me to ask for his permission. Instead, I acknowledged his response and based my decision on that. Lucky for me I am marrying one of the most wonderful people on the planet, so of course he thought it was a great idea that I go to see one of my oldest friends, even if it was without him.
That is a relationship, an engagement & a soon to be marriage. And I like it.